I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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