the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
