I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
