it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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