So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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