why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she looked like the before picture.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just puked most of my soul out..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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