hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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