Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
