She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
