My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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