K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
