I wish my penis had an off switch
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
