By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She even gives head with a lisp.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
