The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
