I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
