My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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