She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
