McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
