Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
