I'm really into asian looking animals
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
