so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
