the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
