Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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