go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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