I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
