you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
