I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
