i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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