whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
