Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
