come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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