Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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