Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
