she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
