Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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