I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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