I'm lost and stupid without you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
