I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
