How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
