If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize