I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
