Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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