why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My life is pants optional.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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