The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
