So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
