I cockslap morals
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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