We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Farmville is her only friend.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
