He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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