Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
