its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
