Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
