And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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