you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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