It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
