can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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