its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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