a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
