EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
