brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
