Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
