let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize