did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
