Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
