How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
