Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
