Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
