$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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