I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
