I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
