Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
