Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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