return my video game
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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