Sry I called you an 8
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
